HOW TO SELL A HAUNTED HOUSE IN A CHALLENGING MARKET…FLORIDA! - SOLD OUT!
Thursday, 4/3 @ 6pm
Largo Public Library, Largo, FL

I’m coming down to Florida to do the Haunted House show. I mean, I think I only did events in Florida back in 2021 in Orlando and in 2023 in Tallahassee, and this is a big state, so it’s about time its residents were introduced to the filthy filthy ghosts that are destroying its property values. Also, Largo is very close to Tampa, the death metal capital of America. Let’s start a band!

WITCHCRAFT COMES FOR NEW ORLEANS
Saturday, 4/5 @ 3:30pm
Overlook Film Festival, New Orleans, LA

New Orleans…I’m coming for you again! And this time, only one of us will survive. I’ll be doing Witchcraft for Wayward Girls - LIVE! and signing books and everything you can imagine. No exact date/time yet, but I’m pretty sure it’s on 3/5 and details will appear as I get them.

WITCHCRAFT IS COMING TO COLORADO!
Thursday, 4/10 @ 6:30pm
Embassy Suites DTC, Centennial, CO

Colorado, here we come! I’ll be doing the Witchcraft show LIVE and the event description claims “Light refreshments will be provided” which I assume means fresh babies, so this is going to be a blast! And Centennial, CO is right next door to Denver, so hopefully there won’t be any leftovers.

WITCHES ARE COMING TO TEXAS!
Friday, 4/11 @ 6pm
Book People, Austin, TX

Just when Texas thought it was safe…the Witches are Back! They took out Dallas, they destroyed San Antonio, but they’re still angry. Their wrath can only be satisfied by coming and transforming the once-peaceful town of Austin, TX into a land of chaos and mayhem. When will they leave us in peace???

And then, I’m going to be coming to the UK! Is that green and scepter'd isle ready for the depredations I’ll visit upon it??????

THE UK TOUR BEGINS! WITCHES UNLEASHED ON THE SCEPTERED ISLE!

WITCHES ATTACK BATH! - SOLD OUT!
Sunday, 4/27 @ 7pm
Bath Royal Literary & Scientific Institution, Bath, UK

Mr. B’s Emporium gets this occult ball rolling, inflicting my live Witch Show on the residents of Bath who have never done anything to hurt anyone. Why all this pain? Why all this suffering? I don’t know, but someone, somewhere hurt this bookshop and it’s determined to make everyone pay.

WITCHES ADVANCE ON LONDON
Tuesday, 4/29 @ 5:30pm
Phoenix Arts Club, London, UK

The wild men and women of Forbidden Planet bring me to London to deliver the Witch Show LIVE! We’re in the bosom of the country now, and from here the witches can easily reach Buckingham Palace. What have we unleashed???

THE WITCHES RETURN TO CAMBRIDGE
Wednesday, 4/30 @ 6pm
Waterstones Cambridge, UK

Several years ago I unleashed The Final Girl Support Group show on the Cambridge Waterstones and apparently they’re gluttons for punishment as they’ve invited me to return and inflict even more misery upon them by performing my witch show live. Pray for the souls of the survivors.

THERE ARE WITCHES IN SEVENOAKS
Thursday, 5/1 @ 7pm
Sevenoaks Bookshop, Sevenoaks, UK

Kent has been attacked by killer spiders and mutant scorpions have ruined its circuses and still it wants more. So it’s invited me to Sevenoaks Bookshop in the delightful market town of Sevenoaks to lay waste to its shops and churches. I weep tears of blood for the good people of this quiet, charming township which will never be the same again.

LIVERPOOL: ATTACKED BY WITCHES!
Friday, 5/2 @ 6:30pm
Waterstones, Liverpool, UK

Good thing the Beatles are long gone from Liverpool because these witches aren’t fooling around. I arrive in Liverpool to unleash the Witchcfraft for Wayward Girls Show - LIVE! and I imagine there won’t be much standing by the time I’m through. My thoughts and prayers to the people of Liverpool.

THE WITCHES MOVE ON BIRMINGHAM
Saturday, 5/3 @ 6:30pm
Waterstones, Birmingham, UK

The path of destruction continues, zigzagging south to visit hellfire on Birmingham, a lovely city rich in history. That doesn’t matter to the witches, however, who will dance in the ruins of its art galleries and libraries as they sing their eldritch songs. I’ll also be doing my show.

NO SAFETY IN NOTTINGHAM!
Sunday, 5/4 @ 2pm
Waterstones, Nottingham, UK

They’re calling it “An Afternoon with Grady Hendrix” which sounds lovely, until you learn that a load of witches are going to crash the event, pulling up on their smoking broomsticks, eating all the tiny sandwiches, and stealing all the babies. But don’t worry! They’ll probably just be turning them into little witches rather than eating them because they’ll be full of sandwiches. However, if there aren’t enough sandwiches to go around then it’s anyone’s guess…Maybe don’t bring any babies at all, just to be safe.

THE WITCHES ARE BACK, SCOTLAND!
Tuesday, 5/6 @ 7pm
Argonaut Books, Edinburgh, Scotland

Scotland killed so many accused witches that I can’t imagine this will end well. Reanimated witches will fill the skies, pets will be eaten, obscene gestures will be made by witches pressing themselves to office block windows. There’s no way we’re all getting out of this one alive.

ST. ANDREWS vs. THE WITCHES!
Wednesday, 5/7 @ 7:30pm
Topping & Company Booksellers, St. Andrews, Scotland

As if Edinburgh wasn’t enough, now St. Andrews wants in on the action, too. Known for its many golf courses, soon it will be known for the piles of smoldering corpses that litter its streets after the witches rampage through and leave nothing but heartbreak and devastation behind. I’ll do my witch show live, but after that I’m planning on running away, crying. You should too.

WITCH ALERT: WALES!
Friday, 5/9 @ 7pm
Waterstones, Cardiff, Wales

In the interests of spreading the pain equally, it is with great sadness that I inform the citizens of Wales that even they are not safe from the witches. I’ll be inflicting my witch show on the people of Cardiff, and may god have mercy on their souls. After that, it’s back to America and I can only hope that this great land will one day find it in its heart to forgive me.

WITCHES INVADE OHIO!
Wednesday, 5/28 @ 7pm
Villa Milano Banquest Center, Columbus, OH

The Westerville Public Library is bringing me to Columbus to destroy the morals and values of this small, upstanding community. Poor souls, they’ll never know what hit them, but they will regret it forever.